1. Big Bahookie

From the recording BIG BAHOOKIE for download

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(written by John Blue)

When I was a lad, we never dressed in plaid
And I never thought to wonder why we never had
When then I saw a kiltie, I confessed to being guilty
Of thinking him a teuchter from a farm.

When I ventured overseas it was all revealed to me
The culture of the kilt and how liberating it could be
So I wear my plaid with pride, I have not a thing to hide
If you asked I’ll gladly show you what a Scotsman wears inside

Chorus: Sit your big bahookie doon
Since you came into this toon
You’ve done nothing but display it to the people all aroon’
You must be bloody mental
To be going regimental
Go on and sit your big bahookie doon

While in my native garb sometimes I do receive a barb
But mostly the remarks are of a curious regard
And the ladies are delighted sometimes shocked but never slighted
To accept the glimpse of Scotland that this native son provides

Now I feel I must explain the somewhat Calvinist refrain
It’s a phrase I have encountered from fellow Scots time and again
The kind who never show their wares, the ones with fire and brimstone stares
It’s my guess that if you looked you’d find a pickle stuck up there.


So I beg all Scots agree, all those who are or want to be
Do not dismiss this peccadillo which is not uniquely me
If a kiltie you should pass give a hoot if he should flash
‘Cause if it’s Scottish you will never see a finer piece of ass